Sometimes, this "mom thing" is...tough.
I don't want my Eli to hurt. I want to keep him safe at home, and only do fun things, and never see him cry.
That isn't how our fallen world works.
Last night, out of the blue, he asked "Where's Papaw?" My Papaw (Eli's great grandfather) passed away on April 25th. Eli understands this (as much as a 2-year-old can), and I offered my usual response. "He's in heaven with Jesus. He's so happy, and he's not sick anymore!" Usually, when I tell him that, he agrees, and his little 2-year-old mind moves on to something else. Not last night. His little lip poked out, and he said "I want to go see him at his house!"
I reminded him that we could go to see Mamaw, but Papaw wouldn't be there because he is in heaven. His lip started to quiver, and he said, "But I NEED to tell him something!" I cried with him, holding him as his little body shook. We looked at pictures and talked about how Papaw loved us so much, and eventually he was happy again.
This morning, when we walked into Eli's preschool classroom, his teacher greeted him with "Good morning Eli! Come meet our new buddy!" I was signing him in on the roster by the door, and I scanned the list for the new name. Written in at the bottom, it read "Lastname, Connor."
Oh, no. I knew where Eli's mind was going to go. I wanted to call him over and explain that this Connor wasn't our Konner. This wasn't the same little boy Eli prays for every night because "him not have a mommy or a sisser". I was too late. His teacher introduced the little boy..."Eli, this is our new buddy Connor." Eli's face lit up, and my stomach fell.
"You got a mommy?"
"Yep!" the little boy answered, not knowing, of course, that Eli had mistaken him for a little orphan boy on the other side of the world.
I called Eli over to me, and knelt down beside him. I tried to explain, but honestly, I don't think he understood. I've been thinking about it all day.
So much heartache.
I want to be able to tell him that, yes, Konner has a mommy now.
I still believe it will happen.
I still believe that God can work through His people to bring Konner a family.
Could it be you?
He has less than a year left in his baby house. Please pray and share his picture when you can. Eli and I would be forever grateful.