Fatherless Friday...Meet Alban!

My poor blog has been pretty neglected lately.  Between working full-time and going back to school part-time, I'm having a hard time keeping up!  

Before I introduce today's Fatherless Friday child, I have a prayer request.  A few weeks ago, I asked (begged) the Spina Bifida Resource Network to share about Konner on their Facebook page.  They did, and MANY families experienced with Spina Bifida saw his sweet face!  

Please pray that if one of these families is meant for him, that the Lord would place him on their hearts like a ton of bricks!  A family who is experienced in caring for a child with SB would be perfect for him.  These moms and dads have already been through the learning curve and are also set up with the right specialists.  

Now, on to today's Fatherless Friday post.  Prepare yourself...you just might die from the cuteness!  Alban is a 3-year-old boy who also has Spina Bifida.  It doesn't seem to have slowed him down at all!  As soon as she saw him, Kara nicknamed him "Nugget"...fitting, right?  

Say it with me..."AWWWWWW!"  

His Reece's Rainbow profile lists his special needs as congenital hydrocephalus and Spina Bifida.  He has a VP shunt to drain fluid from the brain to the abdominal cavity, and he has had the spinal repair for the SB. He's also had a “resection of lipoma outside dura mater of sacroiliac” – which likely means he had a fatty benign tumor removed.

Alban is a funny little guy, always willing to help.  He has a ready smile and a laugh that makes you laugh right along with him. He loves to sing and dance and be paid attention to. All his nannies adore him and wish him a family. He loves to eat but especially noodles and greens.

If the picture doesn't make you want to jump on a plane and bust him out of his orphanage, there is a CUTE video of him as well.

Notice that as soon as he hears that baby bottle hit the floor, he runs over to help (even as his little buddies are chastising him for interrupting their song)!  What a sweet boy!

If you'd like more information about Alban, you can contact Sarah. sarah@reecesrainbow.org 

What a Surprise!

Every.  Single.  Day.  I look at the online orphan database in Konner's country to see if there is a new picture of him.  

Every.  Single.  Day.  I touch the screen and say a prayer for him.  

Today, I clicked the link in my favorites to bring up his profile, then I opened a new tab to check my email.  After I read my emails, I clicked back to the first tab, and my jaw dropped.  My eyes instantly filled with tears.

There he was.  All grown up...a big three-year-old!

He still has the same sweet smile that he had a year ago.  

He's still waiting.  

If you've been thinking about Konner, wondering if he might be your son...consider this your sign!

Are you afraid?  

Afraid that you won't be able to raise the money?

Afraid that he might not be what you expected?

Please, don't let fear hold you back. God hasn't given us a spirit of fear!

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;

I will bring your children from the east

and gather you from the west.

I will say to the north, 'Give them up!'

and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.'

Bring my sons from afar

and my daughters from the ends of the earth --

everyone who is called by my name,

whom I created for my glory,

whom I formed and made."

--Isaiah 43: 5-7

Tough

Sometimes, this "mom thing" is...tough.  

I don't want my Eli to hurt.  I want to keep him safe at home, and only do fun things, and never see him cry.

That isn't how our fallen world works. 

Last night, out of the blue, he asked "Where's Papaw?"   My Papaw (Eli's great grandfather) passed away on April 25th.  Eli understands this (as much as a 2-year-old can), and I offered my usual response.  "He's in heaven with Jesus.  He's so happy, and he's not sick anymore!"  Usually, when I tell him that, he agrees, and his little 2-year-old mind moves on to something else.  Not last night.  His little lip poked out, and he said "I want to go see him at his house!"  

I reminded him that we could go to see Mamaw, but Papaw wouldn't be there because he is in heaven.  His lip started to quiver, and he said, "But I NEED to tell him something!"  I cried with him, holding him as his little body shook.  We looked at pictures and talked about how Papaw loved us so much, and eventually he was happy again.  

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This morning, when we walked into Eli's preschool classroom, his teacher greeted him with "Good morning Eli!  Come meet our new buddy!"  I was signing him in on the roster by the door, and I scanned the list for the new name.  Written in at the bottom, it read "Lastname, Connor."  

Oh, no.  I knew where Eli's mind was going to go.  I wanted to call him over and explain that this Connor wasn't our Konner.  This wasn't the same little boy Eli prays for every night because "him not have a mommy or a sisser".  I was too late.  His teacher introduced the little boy..."Eli, this is our new buddy Connor."  Eli's face lit up, and my stomach fell.  

"You got a mommy?"

"Yep!" the little boy answered, not knowing, of course, that Eli had mistaken him for a little orphan boy on the other side of the world.  

I called Eli over to me, and knelt down beside him.  I tried to explain, but honestly, I don't think he understood.  I've been thinking about it all day.

So much heartache.  

I want to be able to tell him that, yes, Konner has a mommy now.  

I still believe it will happen.  

I still believe that God can work through His people to bring Konner a family.  

Could it be you?

He has less than a year left in his baby house.  Please pray and share his picture when you can. Eli and I would be forever grateful.

http://reecesrainbow.org/19337/konner-15h

Guest post by Chelsea @ You Will Go Out With Joy

I haven't done much in the way of blogging lately, and I guess this doesn't really count, either!  Today's post was written by Chelsea, a 21-year-old college student with a heart for orphans. 

At this point in her life, Chelsea isn't able to adopt, but she gets it.  

Chelsea is an awesome advocate for the orphans of Reece's Rainbow.  In fact, several of "her kids" now have committed families coming for them!  Thanks for sharing today, Chelsea!

"I'm sorry, did my status about dying orphans inconvenience you?"

By Chelsea @ You Will Go Out With Joy

Stick with me for just a few minutes, okay? This post might be a bit difficult to read. It was definitely difficult to write, mostly because the ones most likely to feel conviction over such things are the ones who are already doing their part. I promise that tomorrow's post will be much more optimistic.

I wrote this post more than a week before I actually published it. I've been tweaking and editing this post for the past week. I've prayed about whether or not there's any grace in this post, I've tried to fill it with conviction rather than condemnation, and I thought long and hard before I decided that I was going to publish it at all. Why? Because honestly, sometimes I'm angry. Sometimes, I'm disappointed in people. At age twenty-one, I'm about two steps away from becoming one of the cranky old people who mutter about where exactly this culture is going in a hand basket. I'm frustrated with the way things are right now, and I often feel powerless to do anything about it. Don't read this post the wrong way. I realize that the times when I'm the most frustrated are usually the times when God is working on something amazing behind the scenes, so don't read hopelessness here. Is my heart still full for Maya's sake? For Laurel's? Of course it is! My goal is not to point fingers at people, to judge, or to hurt anybody. If I accidentally do any of those things, I apologize right now. My goal is simply to be honest. When you get involved in any sort of cause, your first obstacle will hit almost immediately. Just after you commit to involvement, you will face the most difficult hurdle of all. It doesn't show up in the form of a blog troll, a self-righteous relative, or any sort of snide comment. Those might show up later, but first, you'll have to deal with the indifference of others.

See, I sometimes feel a lot like I'm shouting at a brick wall. Children are dying. Children are starving. Children are literally begging for families to bring them home, and people over here do not care in the slightest. We hear the person who tries to raise awareness. We see them provide practical and simple ways that we can help. But we don't do anything about it. I am just one person, and I'm limited. I was so idealistic when I first got involved with Reece's Rainbow. People don't help orphans because people simply don't know how big the problem is. Okay. So, if we tell more people about the orphan crisis, more people will be available to help, right? Wrong. Awareness is much more difficult than that. It's not a matter of people not knowing. It's a matter of people choosing not to know. Some people shout about the plight of orphans while others purposely ignore. A child dies alone in a crib, and a rich adult in America covers his ears because he doesn't want to know. It makes me feel helpless. You can shout all you want to, but you can't force a person to take his hands off his ears.

As of right now, the Reece's Rainbow facebook group has 1,239 members, and I hear echoes of the same frustration from those members at least once a week.

"Why doesn't anybody care?"
"Why are people ignoring this crisis?"
"Why do people refuse to open their eyes?"

And all of that frustration is totally understandable. Some of these people have talked to friends who outright told them to stop posting statuses about orphans because it's just so depressing. Orphan advocates have been unfollowed and even unfriended because they post about orphans too much. Nobody wants to hear about the orphans. It's inconvenient, see, because it distracts us from what's really important. If I use facebook to post something about orphans, then maybe fewer people will get to see the photo of what you made for dinner, and you worked really hard on that dinner. If I post something about orphans, then people might comment on that post instead of marveling over your newly changed relationship status. If I post something about orphans, people might be distracted from how brilliantly sarcastic you were in your last post. If I post something about orphans, your passive-aggressive use of song lyrics might not get as much attention, and really, what's the point of facebook if we can't use it to be passive-aggressive? If I post something about orphans, I might ruin your day. I might make you think about suffering for a moment, and suffering is just no fun to think about.

So we ignore.
We unfollow.
We unfriend.
We get mad at what convicts us.
We hold tightly to our sense of entitlement.

You know what? Maybe someday we'll get to meet face-to-face with the orphans who inconvenienced us. Maybe someday we'll get to tell them how we really felt.

Maybe one day, Karen will say, "I'm sorry my orphaned status distracted you from your boyfriend."

Maybe Payton will say, "I'm sorry my Cerebral Palsy made you feel bad."

Maybe Marsha will say, "I'm sorry you had to think about my starvation while you posted pictures of your dinner."


You see how ridiculous our entitled attitudes are? Some people might read this and think that I'm being unfair. Some people might think that they're not meant to be responsible here, and honestly, they are being logical. What did any of us here in America do, right? Did we ever abandon any babies? Did we start up a corrupt government that routinely warehouses children with disabilities? Did we ever abuse children in an orphanage? Of course not. We didn't make this mess, so why should we have to clean it up? I've had that attitude before. Come to think of it, I still struggle with this attitude at times. The problem is that this type of thinking also led so many people to stand aside and do nothing while Adolf Hitler enforced a culture of cruelty, starvation, and systematic murder. If you think I'm being unfair in my comparison, just read some of these stories or watch this video. Or this video. Or this one. These are real children. These are living, breathing teenagers who are starved and warehoused to the point of never growing to be larger than toddlers. These are real babies who are left to die of neglect.


Maybe I wouldn't be so angry if it weren't for the fact that so many of us who ignore the cries of the orphans just happen to be Christians. Christians! As in, followers of Jesus Christ. You'd think it wouldn't be so difficult to get the Christians of all people to show a bit of empathy. Let's just see what the Bible says about orphans, shall we?

"Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."
-James 1:27-

"You shall not afflict any widow or orphan."
-Exodus 22:22-

"You shall not pervert the justice of due an alien or orphan..."
-Deuteronomy 24:17-

"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it."
-Proverbs 3:27-

"Learn to do good; Seek justice, Reprove the ruthless, Defend the orphan, Plead for the widow."
-Isaiah 1:17-

It doesn't look like we have any excuse, does it? Those aren't all of the Bible verses relating to orphans, either. I only quoted a few of them. Look, I understand that adoption is not for everyone. But you absolutely do not have to adopt to help orphans. One of the saddest things in the world is when we Christians use our Christian lingo to weasel our way out of following God's commands. In this case, we like to use the word "called." We say, "I'm not called to helping orphans, I'm called to something else." The problem is that orphan care isn't a calling, it's a command.

Think of it this way: What if I said, "I'm not called to honor my parents, I'm called to be an actor"? You'd think I was crazy, right? You'd want to say, "Those two thing aren't mutually exclusive, stupid! And an actor? Really? Don't ask me if you can sleep on my couch." The command to care for orphans is on the same level as the command to honor our parents. It's not a career choice. It's not an either/or situation. It's what God has told us to do.


So if you're not called to adopt right now, what do you do? If you have gifts, you can use them! If you have a skill for writing, make a blog. If you're a persuasive person, alert others to the crisis. If you have money, make a donation. If you have a facebook, copy and paste a link. Just do something. Whatever you do, don't ignore. Don't look away. Even when it's painful. Even when it depresses you. Even when it makes you angry. Make a goal today to simply open your eyes. If you notice something about orphans, click the link. Do some reading. Educate yourself about the world that you live in. It might just lead to you taking a huge role in the bigger picture, because when you allow yourself to feel sadness over the pain of children, you also get to experience a surge of joy when you see one of those children come home or meet their parents for the first time. As somebody who has experienced one of those miracles, I can promise you that nothing in this world will make you more happy.

Fatherless Friday...Little Lance

Today's Fatherless Friday post features a young man named Lance.  He has the same name as my brother, so his profile has always caught my attention.

A family is spending time at his orphanage this week while they are in the process of adopting one of his buddies, and they've shared a lot of first-hand information about him.  The mom has also offered to speak with anyone who is interested in adopting him (I can get you in touch with her).  It sounds like he would make a wonderful son!

This young man's smile is a ray of sunshine. His giggle is infectious. He is a good helper at the children's home with his teachers and fellow classmates. He is the man of the house and takes responsibility for others without complaining. He does not let his role go to his head and become arrogant and proud. If he does get upset which is not often he can be easily redirected. He plays very well with all the other classmates and listens to his teachers. Whenever we see him we are greeted by him running to us with a BIG smile and a wave. He showed very clear signs of attaching to a mother and a father. He loves older children (teenagers) and just longs to belong to a family and have that attachment and affection.

We often see him at the fence at school when other kids his age and older passing by on the trail behind his play area in their karate uniforms and his whole world just stops as he stares and watches them run off with their instructors. Just breaks your heart. This young man I believe would flourish in a loving family and would bring so much joy and laughter into it!

We often see him at the fence at school when other kids his age and older passing by on the trail behind his play area in their karate uniforms and his whole world just stops as he stares and watches them run off with their instructors. Just breaks your heart. This young man I believe would flourish in a loving family and would bring so much joy and laughter into it!

The school staff stated that he is a very good boy and does not cause trouble and they are very proud of him because he is such a BIG helper with the little ones.

Lance's special need is HIV.  Adopting a child with HIV can sound scary if you aren't familiar with the advances that have been made in the past several years.  It is no longer considered a death sentence like it was in the 80's.  It is treated as a chronic, MANAGEABLE disease, and most people who take ARV therapy have an "undetectable viral load".  From the HIV to Home blog:

"Many people don’t know that HIV is a very fragile virus. As soon as it leaves the body, it begins to die. There are no documented cases of HIV transmission through casual household or school contact. HIV+ children can (and do!) share cups, baths, pools, dishes, bathrooms, etc.! In addition, when children are on treatment for their HIV, the amount of the virus in their bloodstream can be brought so low that it is considered “undetectable” – meaning the amount of the virus in the blood, even through contact with blood, has been brought so low that the possibility of transmission has become even more remote."

The fact is, science and medicine have come so far that "we would rather treat pediatric HIV than juvenile diabetes," says Kenneth Alexander, M.D., chief of pediatric infectious diseases at the University of Chicago. "If you look at how well our medications work, there's no reason not to expect that Sachi will one day see her grandchildren."  ~From an article in Parenting Magazine

There is SO MUCH good information about HIV+ adoption available at Project Hopeful or From HIV to Home. 

You can also find one family's explanation of what living with HIV is like by clicking here.

Happy Birthday, Little Buddy

Happy Birthday, Konner!  

I know birthdays aren't something to celebrate where you are...I wish you could know that I am thinking about you today.  

I'm hoping to get an updated picture of you soon so I can see how you've grown!   

I'm praying always that God will keep you well...that he will place a hedge of protection around you and hold you safely in the palm of his hand.

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, sweet Konner

Happy birthday to you.

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Konner's third birthday means that there is ONE YEAR left before he is transferred from his orphanage. When he turns four, he will be evaluated for transfer. At that point, children who have no obvious disability, like those with HIV or mild Cerebral Palsy, are sent to an internat for older children.
 
Those who have obvious mental or physical disabilities are sent to a mental institution.  These facilities house people of all ages, and are no place for a four-year-old.  Can you imagine?  Kids, like Aaron, who are smart and able to learn, but sent to an institution because of their physical differences.


This could go either way for Konner...I don't know enough about his medical needs to try to predict the outcome.  It's possible that he is able to walk without assistance and will be eligible to go to the internat.  Possible, but not likely.  


Would you join me in praying that a family will come forward before it's too late?  


Also, next week, the officials in Konner's country will be making some important decisions regarding international adoption.  Please pray that they will do what is best for the children involved.  

The helpless put their trust in You.  You are the defender of orphans, Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless.  Surely you will listen to their cries and comfort them.  You will bring justice to the orphans and oppressed, so people can no longer terrify them.   --Psalm 10:17-18

Fatherless Friday...Meet Deacon

Thanks for the kind comments on my last post.  After I published it, something happened that really encouraged me!

Remember the Kona Inspired contest that Brady is competing in?  Well, yesterday, a generous person offered to make a donation to a waiting child or family for each 1,000 votes.  The person closest to each 1,000 mark was able to choose where the donation went, and guess who hit 75,000 on the nose???

It was me!   Konner's grant will be getting a boost this week!

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On to this week's Fatherless Friday post...

Have you seen this video?  

Cooper, the little boy in the video, is deaf and has just received cochlear implants.  You can fast-forward to the :25 mark to see Cooper hear his mother's voice for the very first time!  

I've read that most little ones are scared or confused the first time their cochlear implants are turned on.  Not so for Cooper!  His expression is absolutely priceless.  

When I first saw this video, my mind immediately went to another two-year-old.

Deacon is also deaf, and has recently had his first surgery in the process to receive cochlear implants.  Most orphanages in his country are extremely poor, so it's really a blessing that someone (probably his orphanage director) cares about him enough to get him the surgery.  

Deacon
Even with the red-eye and the fuzzy picture, he is adorable!

If there is still enough money in the budget when it's time for Deacon's second surgery, whose voice will be the first one he hears?  

A doctor?  A nanny from his orphanage?  

I wish it could be his mama...

You can see his profile here.  Adoptions from Deacon's country are relatively quick...only about 7 months!